Baby Stuff: Revisited

I know I posted a baby gear manifesto a long time ago, while I only had one child.  Now that I have two, and know friends that are having their first children, I figured it was time to update the old lists, which seem to have the worst formatting in blogging history (for what reason, I cannot begin to understand!?).

General Gear:
     1. Baby Carrier:   I have loved my ErgoBaby carrier; we got it when Liam was about a year old, but we use it all the time at the zoo, grocery store, mall, parties, etc.  The ergo is developmentally sound for the baby's spine because it offers more complete support under the baby's bottom; it is also great for mama's back because it moves the child's weight to your hips instead of your upper back.  I hear you can also nurse in the ErgoBaby, but I had already weaned Liam when we got it.  Dominic rides in it occasionally at almost 4 years old.  I loved my ZoloWear ring sling with Dominic (while he was the only child), but struggled with it when I had Liam because I worried he'd fall out while I was bending over to help Dominic.

     2. Sleeping:  I was an adamant non-co-sleeper before I was an exhausted new mom.  Once sense and exhaustion kicked in, we tended to co-sleep for ease of nursing at night - roll over, boob in mouth, back to sleep (repeat all night).  At the times I wanted my own space for sleeping or for daytime baby naps, we really liked our Amby Baby Motion Bed (the baby hammock), as pre-rolling babies were quickly soothed back to sleep if they stirred in the night.  Around 6 months with both of our boys (when the outgrew the Amby), we moved them to a floor bed (short IKEA mattress on the floor) in a thoroughly baby-proofed room down the hall - if an Amby is out of the budget or too weird looking, I highly recommend skipping the crib and using a floor bed from the start.

     3.1. Stroller (and a little about carseats):  DO NOT GET A TRAVEL SYSTEM.  I HATED MY TRAVEL SYSTEM STROLLER.  IT WAS WAY WAY WAY TOO HEAVY AND CUMBERSOME, and there are much better options available.  I wish I'd registered for something like a Phil and Teds stroller that can convert to a double when/if more children come along.  They are an expensive initial investment, but this would have been awesome to have when child two came along and there wasn't a baby shower to be seen.  You can buy a carseat converter if you like to keep your baby in the infant seat (which I didn't do with the second child... bizarre).  What we used and liked: Maxi Cosi infant seat and Pearle Stroller - it is a stroller the size of an umbrella stroller, that has clips to hold your carseat in it.  It is basically a compact make-your-own travel system that takes up a tiny fraction of your trunk space and is super easy to travel with.  A free hand-me-down double stroller that is way too heavy and takes up our whole trunk (did I mention free? priorities shift with child 2).
     3.2. Carseat:  As a first-time mom, I tended to leave Dominic in his infant carseat when we went grocery shopping, to the mall, to a restaurant, etc.  That is the whole appeal of an infant carseat, after all.  When my second came along, I rarely kept him in his infant seat to take him out of the car.  If I had a do-over, I'd probably just invest in an awesome (Brittax?) convertible carseat that will last from newborn through 18-years-old (or whatever the current carseat law requires).

     4. High Chair:  do not waste money on an expensive cushy one.  We LOVED our $20 IKEA Antilop high chair - you can hose it off on a bad day, wipe it with a sponge quickly on a good day, and easily take the legs out to fit it on the floorboard below your child in the backseat for a road trip to grandma's.  You can buy a $5 pad for it for when a baby first starts sitting up.  If money is no object, I would recommend a Stokke Trip Trap Chair or Svan High Chair, which convert to independent toddler chairs and on to an adult chairs as your child grows (another expensive initial investment that would be worth it long-term).

     5. Play Mats:  we really liked the easy cleaning and compact/simple storage of the IKEA play mats... they were also inexpensive compared to the ones that light up and "teach your infant spanish and long division"... a topic for another post another day.

     6. Changing Table:  we used a changing pad on top of a dresser, and liked having at least 2 covers so one could be washed while the other one was getting pooped on.  Ha!  When our children started rolling a lot, we just stowed the pad behind the bathroom door, and laid it on the floor to change them.

     7. Baby Spoons:  the plastic Munchkin brand spoons you can buy at the grocery store or Target hold baby food better than the standard rubber coated baby spoons.

     8.  Wipe Warmer:  used it with Dominic, could care less about warm wipes when Liam came along.

     9.  Diaper Bag:  we LOVE our black Columbia messenger-style diaper bag.  The key for us was unisex because Ryan is often out with the boys alone and doesn't want to carry a quilted pink paisley diaper bag that looks like a purse.  When we no longer need it for diapers, it will be a great multi-purpose messenger bag.

For nursing mamas:
     1. Breast Pump - thought I didn't want one with my first, ended up wishing I'd had one from day one!  I loved my manual Medela Harmony pump initially, but then I needed to pump hands-free, so I got the Medela Freestyle pump and had no complaints.  They make excellent pumps.

     2. Nursing Bras - get fitted at a maternity store (Motherhood Maternity had a TON of options) and buy several of these!  I preferred the ones that clipped open/closed on the strap near the collar bone (as opposed to opening in the front middle).  I didn't find any I liked while nursing Dominic so I only wore nursing tanktops, and looking back at pictures, I regret this decision... saggy... enough said.

     3. Nursing Tanktops - if you aren't big on supportive bras, buy one in every color, otherwise, these are great for lounging around at home or wearing under cardigans for easy nursing access while out and about.

     4. Gerber Prefold Diapers - Use these as burp cloths.  They are super absorbent for spitup and leaky boobs.  A dear friend suggested folding one up and putting it horizontally across my chest inside of my bra to manage leakage while at home or at night (best suggestion EVER).

     5. Bottles: we liked Dr. Brown's with child 1, by child 2 we didn't want to wash that many pieces each time we used a bottle and opted for the Playtex (?) ones that just had a few easily washed parts.

Musings on Motherhood

I drank one too many caffeinated beverages tonight, and I am now sitting awake stalking the Facebook newsfeed... I'm hitting refresh every 3 seconds... I can feel my blood running in my veins.  The upside:  I'm clearly "over" my caffeine addiction if I feel this way after only 2 sodas.

In an attempt to keep things fresh and funky.  Funky fresh, if you will.  I plan to start typing here more often, even if it means it is totally rambly, ranty, ridiculous, raucous, rumpus, r-words!  This evening while stalking facebook catching up with friends, I found myself reminiscing about the early days of motherhood, and felt I should share those thoughts with a broader audience (ahem, 200+ pageviews a month for the past 6 months!  Blog visited from 4 continents last month... cah-ray-zee)

In the early days of motherhood...

• I thought my brain was going to explode from sleep deprivation and sensory overload and that my heart was going to explode because I couldn't sleep because I just wanted to stay up and love Dominic with my whole self while fully awake.
• I sometimes went to IKEA just to have some human interaction beyond interaction with a fully dependent baby - sometimes ordering and eating a 50 cent hot dog felt like the most thrilling part of my day.
• Some days I could not stop myself from crying because I was so happy.  I worried Ryan alot in the first weeks, because I was happy to the point of crying a lot.
• There were times that I just wanted to sleep another 5 minutes (but that was nothing new for me... I've had those times since I was born!).
• I am still overwhelmed by how helpful Ryan is with baby duties.
• Single parents amaze me, and they deserve to be on the front of every issue of TIME magazine.  Period.  I cannot even fathom the sacrifice it takes to be a single mother, and at the same time I have a pretty good idea. 
• Ryan's love for our sons is a constant reminder that I married the right man.  I knew he'd be a great daddy before we were married, but he has exceeded that expectation since we became parents.
• I totally forgot about the misery that was my pregnancies and turned all of that nauseous energy into snuggly-kissy energy.

As things started getting normal...

• I was surprised by how natural motherhood was and continues to be.  I'll admit that I did very little reading about "how to be a mom," the reading I did seemed totally crazy.  
• I learned within a couple hours of giving birth that sometimes doctors and nurses are just plain nuts.  "You want me to wake my sleeping baby to feed him?  Don't you think he'll wake up when he is hungry?  I've heard that they are born with a drive to live... which seems to indicate that they will not starve themselves... I'll wake him up if he goes 6 hours without eating or stirring, otherwise, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my room if you think waking a sleeping baby is a good idea." (that was a thought that I conveyed by smiling and nodding at the nurses and doctors who gave that type of INSANE advice... you know, since my child was healthy at birth... had he been in the NICU, I might have had a little compassion for those doctors and nurses)  Sometimes doctors and nurses are still nuts, and I will confide here that my children are fine, grow normally, are developing on a normal course, and I have never woken them up to feed them... they let me know when they are hungry.
• What?  How did I ever get peed on in those first weeks?  Changing diapers is so fast and easy!
• I started to wonder why people were shocked that I was ALREADY getting out of the house.
• The baby's own unfolding captivated me; I realized that providing a safe and appropriate environment is all they need!  (and a booby when they're hungry)
• The Babies'R'Us gift registry list looked more like a hilarious joke than a list of necessities... a swing, bouncer, bumbo, exersaucer, AND playmat?  Haha, that still kind of tickles me.  We have a playmat.  Only a playmat.  Sometimes we use a bouncer or swing at my parents' house, but they are hardly necessities.  Sometimes I think a cardboard box would have been just as effective as a playmat... save your money and avoid the pressure to succumb to all of those money draining "necessities"... remember, BRU is in the business of making money off of your insecurity about being a parent (particularly in the registry department).  I'll try to stop telling you what to do now.
• I started giving "mom advice" totally unsolicited, which helped me to feel a little more empathetic to the moms who gave me that unsolicited advice, and made me feel hopeful that my friends will forgive me for "being an expert"... at everything.  Really, though, sorry; I will practice biting my tongue.
• Some suggestions were hard to try, but turned out to be the best suggestions ever.  Being firm about limits, for instance, was one of the hardest things to try, but became a source of great confidence and happiness.  "no, the scooter does not go in the pool"

When I became a mother to another...

• WHAT?!  NO!  I HATE BEING PREGNANT!  THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!  AWW... WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!  I LOVE OUR BABIES!...followed by sobbing, and inability to drink my milk tea.  (All the while, Ryan smiling like a kid on Christmas... again... and his reaction was the right reaction... again... my hormones always seem to get the better of me in that moment)
• I was thankful that the saved baby clothes had not yet made it up to the attic, and (still am) baffled that our receiving blankets, burp cloths, and some nice diapering supplies are completely vanished.
• One was suddenly quite simple and quite hard at the same time (perhaps because it was actually no longer just one).
• Diaper changes were shockingly simple.  How did I EVER get peed on with Dominic?
• Why was I worried that Dominic would suddenly morph into a nightmare of a child?  He always has been laid back, and remains to this day a very easy-going child.  He has an occasional tantrum (do not get me wrong, he HAS. HIS. TANTRUMS.), but I think that is because he is two, not because I have two.
• I discovered that it IS possible for my love to increase 100-fold, again.  There is nothing as captivating as the velvety skin of a newborn baby.  Oh, those first moments are the most precious moments of my life (at the birth of both of my sons).
• The miracle that is giving birth still totally boggles my mind.  At the same time that I totally amaze myself that I did that, I totally refuse to believe that it is even possible that I did that... did that really happen?!

That is all for now, and the caffeine has started to wear off, so I will not be editing this for spelling and grammar errors (if you catch one, comment, and I'll fix it... your cooperation and assistance is appreciated).  What are some of your thoughts on parenthood?

On the Last Week... and Signing Up for Silly Contests...

Earlier this week I got an e-mail notification that I had registered for the Phil&Teds Procreation Challenge last spring. "Give her the gift she REALLY wants for Valentine's Day," was the tag line, and all you have to do is have your baby on November 14th. Well, they didn't specify the prize until last night at 3am; the company is based in Australia, so I'm at their timing mercy! You can win an Explorer stroller from their line of inline strollers. It looks like you only win the single, but the doubles kit costs much less than any of the double strollers I've seen on the market, and this one weights 26.5 lbs... that is LIGHT for a double! I could not even lift the double options they had in stock at Babies R Us when we went to test them out about a month ago, and we had resigned to the fact that we would be buying the plastic connectors that link two umbrella strollers to create a double (I can definitely lift two umbrella strollers separately!). I think my body has been sabotaging me to win this dang stroller!

This week has been exceedingly more uncomfortable as well. I never thought I'd see 38 weeks... much less 39.5 weeks! I kicked off the week with a Monday morning labor-induction massage from the doula. It felt awesome. I felt had contractions all day on Monday... no baby, though. Tuesday I had less contractions, and they have completely petered out throughout the week! On Wednesday I found out that I was at least making progress; I had dilated another cm (3 now), I was still 70% effaced, and the baby had descended another cm (-2) into my pelvis. This was good news. I also met the final midwife in the practice, Theodora... who is my favorite! The Catholic Hippy of the bunch! We had a wonderful conversation about what our expectations are, how Dominic's birth had gone, why we had switched to the midwife practice, and she was right on the same page with us! I LOVE that I do not have to argue or defend myself with these midwives; I was so tired of being questioned to the third degree, and made to feel like I was neglecting my children by choosing not to have a heplock (one TINY request out of the ordinary!). "You wouldn't ride in the car without a seatbelt, would you?" was the line I got from not one, but TWO doctors! Theodora had NO CONCERNS about letting me labor without the heplock... if I had heart disease, or a history of stroke, or a complicated pregnancy, or weighed over 300 lbs, she may have felt differently, but I have a totally normal and uncomplicated pregnancy, I don't even weigh 150 lbs! I do not have bad veins! Thank you for being reasonable! She even said that Ryan can catch the baby if he'd like - he may not want to, but what an awesome option! Oh, and I get to wear whatever I want while I'm in labor! No hospital gown with open back for me!!

So I am still pregnant, still miserable; this morning I woke up with a sore rear end, no doubt from squatting to pick up Dominic all day yesterday while Ryan was at work, but I look like a duck when I walk, and it is insufferable to lift him today. Ryan is also working a 24 hour shift tonight, so I'm flying solo again. I am SO READY to have this baby! I also sewed 11 receiving blankets this week, and I am currently working on two topponcinos for the new baby. Those are security cushions the baby lays on and can be passed along from person to person on top of, so he has the same sense of security no matter who is holding him. I need to check with the toddler teacher this morning to see if I have it the right thickness, or if I need to cut it in half (in which case I think I might sew a couple extras and try to sell them? They are kind of expensive from Michael Olaf). I need to put the carseat into the car, pack a little bag for the hospital... maybe I'll labor in my maternity swimsuit, since I plan to labor in the tub! I think I'll also make a Munari Mobile in the next couple days if I don't go into labor... oye vey. Oh, and we have a family reunion this weekend! I better win that stroller.

Pregnancy, Babies, and Gear, OH MY! Part 3: Nursing Gear

Breastfeeding Gear/Tips:

• Medela Breast Pump (Freestyle, Harmony, or Pump in Style): I refused that I would ever pump breast milk... I'm not a dairy cow. In retrospect, I wish I had one from the beginning (even just the Harmony manual pump). When you first start nursing, your body will produce much more than baby can take in, and it HURTS like hell! A pump can help relieve just enough pressure, and breastmilk can be frozen to use at later times (if you need to go out, when you are weaning to a bottle, etc.). I kick myself that I didn't pump for relief at the beginning (Dominic might still have breastmilk instead of expensive formula, too).

• GlamourMom Nursing Tanks: I'm small chested, and didn't like any nursing bras I tried out. These tanks are easy to nurse in, and they look just like a spaghetti strap shirt. They were comfy and easy to use... I wore them religiously when I was nursing and pumping.

• The Gillian O'Malley nursing tanks from Target are good too; the closure is easier to use, but they have less coverage when you open them up to nurse. When I was nursing, they only came in Black, White, and Grey. I saw a whole rack of them in snappy colors last week at target; they're only about $15 each, too, making them cheaper than the GlamourMom tops.

• Gerber Prefold Cloth Diapers... for Burp Cloths: nice to have on hand espeically when getting started with breastfeeding; tuck one into your shirt/bra the first couple months when you brestfeed to avoid major leakage/sprayage all over your clothes, bed, wall, husband, baby, etc. This was one of the best tips I got from a friend when I was changing shirts every couple hours because of leaks and spills while nursing. For a while (when I was engorged), I would keep a few in the freezer, then take one out fold it up and put it across my chest like a tube top under my nursing tank for relief and leak protection. Also great for mopping up spit-up.

Pregnancy, Babies, and Gear, OH MY! Part 2: Gear

Gear Recommendations:

Sling/Carrier:

• ZoloWear Sling: a ring sling that is super easy to adjust, wash, and carry. Easy and discreet for nursing newborns in public, useful even at 11 months for Dominic (we use it when we take him to Mass, and I sometimes walk with him around the block in it). Pretty much any ring sling will work this way, but I recommend finding one (like the Zolo) that has a zipper pouch for 1 diaper, wipes, keys, and cell while you're out and about.

• 5 Yards of Jersey Cotton from the Fabric Store: Use it like the Sleepy Wrap or the Moby Wrap, and get two for the price of one when you cut it in half. Share one with your friend who just had a baby. This option divides the weight on both shoulders, so it is easier on the back. I was able to nurse Dominic as a newborn in this one sometimes (hit or miss) and it was tricky to get him into it when he was wailing to eat. This one is nice for carrying forward facing after 4-6 months, carrying on your back, or carrying mom-facing. It is much more tricky to get the baby in and out of, especially if you are also trying to worry about a diaper bag or shopping bags.

Bed:

• Amby Baby: pretty expensive "cocoon sleeper," suspended by a spring, so when baby wakes or stirs in the night, it gently rocks according to baby's movements. Dominic slept through the night around 2 months in this... very comfy for him. He outgrew it around 6 months when he was ready to sleep on his tummy on his floor bed. We bought ours on craigslist for less than half the retail price, and very gently used. They've been recalled, and they promise a fix, so keep an eye out for that.

• Montessori Floor Bed:basically an IKEA 3-part twin mattress on the floor in a totally baby-safe room. This concept allows for the most freedom of movement and independence for infants. We like that when Dominic wakes up he can play in his room happily right when he wakes up (no fussing to get him out of a crib). A challenge has been that we didn't start a good bedtime routine early, so when he became mobile he would crawl off and become fussy from being so tired and wound up. It took a lot of will power to stick with it, and it is getting to a point that we can leave the room with him awake but drowsy and he goes to sleep on his own. An added bonus is that he will sometimes crawl over to it and fall asleep on it completely unprompted, while he is playing independently in his room (with me down the very short hall on the computer).

Carseat/Stroller:

• Maxi Cosi Mico Infant Carrier: releasing this from the base is a little trickier than the Graco or Chicco. The seat is very comfy for the baby, and the design is very mod. Canopy/sunshade only extends half-way, which is a bummer sometimes.

For a travel system we used it with:

• Maxi Cosi Pearle Stroller: an Umbrella style stroller that also adapts to hold the infant carrier. This is a one shop stroller that is infinitely smaller than the typical "travel system." Easy to maneuver while shopping or out in pedestrian areas (Rice Village, Galleria, Airports, you name it, we've maneuvered this there!) This is ultra-compact for storing in the car or house (or apartment).

We loved this system for traveling with a 7 month old (that's why we switched to it, actually). Dominic was small enough for the infant carrier, but the other travel system was too bulky/heavy to maneuver easily through an airport (with luggage) while also stowing under the plane easily. This and the carseat both fit into the same travel stroller bag (made for the larger travel system strollers only... so it is one less case to store if you will be flying with a baby).

Other Carseats/Strollers we tried:

• Graco Snug Rider Infant Carrier: pretty comfy carseat for infants, easily removable/washable cover, full range sun sheild/canopy (very nice!). Handle a bit uncomfortable if carrying hooked over your elbow... only one side is rounded, the other has an uncomfortable edge, which was totally lame when out and about.
• Baby Trend Snap'n'go Stroller: lightweight stroller frame specifically for use with infant carriers; it does not have a seat, so it is pretty much finished when the child outgrows the infant seat (around 20-23 lbs). Much easier to maneuver in tight spaces than a travel system stroller, and much simpler to load/unload from the car. When folded it takes up half the space of a typical travel system stroller, takes up twice the space of the Maxi Cosi Pearle, but weighs about half as much as either of the other strollers.
• Graco Metrolite Stroller: the lightest of the big travel system strollers (that we found, anyway), though it is still quite cumbersome. It was really bulky, despite its smaller size, and too big for tight maneuvering (like shopping at a mall, IKEA, or on tight sidewalks). We quickly ditched this, although it may be a nice stroller for older children if you are interested in a big stroller for outings at grassy parks or on rough terrain? I just can't see myself having enough trunk space for it, even if it is a little more cushy for the baby! The storage under the seat was easy to get to, the shade was nice, and the handle was adjustable, if you are looking for this type of big stroller.

High Chair:

• IKEA Antilop: The least expensive high chair option on the market ($20, or $25 with tray), the most compact/collapsible, and the most practical. Completely made of plastic and metal legs, this is the most parent friendly high chair. It is totally wipe-able, there is no padding or crevices to trap crumbs or splatters. It has a detachable tray, or it can be used pulled up to a table. Cushions can be purchased separately and are machine wash/dry-able; the cushion makes the fit a little better for smaller babies or those who are just learning to sit independently. My parents got this one as a spare for Dominic to use, and now it is Riley's high chair, and they are going to be donating their $200-300 high chair to Project Gabriel because this one is so good. It renders pricey Peg Perego highchairs obsolete! I even saw it in a parenting magazine as the top pick. Today we wiped some week-old goo off of this thing without any scrubbing... heaven!

• IKEA Spolling: This is the first highchair we bought for our house because it folds flat (to fit against the wall in a tight space). It does not have a tray, and it is made of a wipeable or machine washable fabric seat on a metal folding frame. This one is really cute and has a handy pocket on the back, but the lack of tray and crevices in the fabric make it more difficult to manage... It costs 2x the Antilop, and we're thinking about cutting our losses and buying the Antilop to replace it. You may be interested in the idea of just pulling your kid up to the table, but in the end you'll probably prefer a tray on the high chair to contain the mess.

Play Mat:

IKEA Leka Baby Gyms (Soft and Wooden): I recommend getting both. Dominic has LOVED the wooden one, and now that he is starting to walk, he will push it along the wood floors and pull up on it to play with the hanging toys from above. When he was younger he loved the soft baby gym at my parents' house. It was a nice pad to lay him on, easily machine washable, and the attached and removeable toys were very entertaining for him, the toy arch was also detachable if you just want to use it as a mat. To date, the wooden gym is one of Dominic's favorite toys, and it encourages gripping, exploration, mechanical thinking, and independence of movement (as an aid to standing and walking... it is very sturdy for only $25) We got a very expensive play mat at a shower, and wish we'd gotten 10 other things instead of that, since these were so good!

Changing Table:

• The top of a dresser with a changing pad. Easy if you have a short dresser. ... or...
• IKEA Spolling: Fold-up table with ample pocket storage. We LOVE this. It is easy to keep everything on hand, and if we were crunched for space, we could just fold it in half and stick it in a closet or against the wall, which will be nice for storing it in between babies.

Other Gear you will appreciate:

• Wipe Warmer: no cold hineys in the middle of the night... I thought this was silly until i put a cold wet wipe on a sleeping newborn's bottom... no fun.

• Munchkin Plastic Spoons: they hold more baby food than the standard coated metal spoons, and more importantly, the shape helps keep the food on the spoon while feeding! Mealtime is much cleaner now that we have these. They are available at most grocery stores.

• Wubba Nub Pacifier: If you plan to use a pacifier, this one is the hospital-issue soothie attached to a soft stuffed animal (almost like a beanie baby). It holds the pacifier in place for a newborn, and for older babies, gives them something to help grasp the pacifier to get it into the mouth. Pacimals is a similar product that has a removable pacifier, but it is much bigger than the Wubba Nub.

• Columbia Diaper Bag: Looks like a computer messenger bag... nice for dads to carry without looking totally metrosexual. It holds a ton of gear. Great for dropping off kids with a babysitter/grandma, or taking a kid to daycare. I'm moving out of the spit up and blow-out diaper stage, so I'm about to trade for one that just holds 2 diapers, wipes, and mom necessities (phone, wallet, etc), so it will be easier for me to manage on days I'm just making small trips, we'll hang onto the big one for Ryan and Nana to use.

And now in List Form, excluding the stuff we would have skipped on a second time around...

Columbia Diaper Bag

Wipe Warmer

Munchkin Spoons

IKEA Spolling Changing Table

IKEA Leka Baby Gym (Wooden, and Soft)

IKEA Antilop High Chair

Maxi Cosi Mico Infant Carrier

Maxi Cosi Perle Stroller

Amby Baby Bed

Matress for the Floor Bed (I know, it seems crazy)

ZoloWear Sling

In the words of one of my 5-yr-old students when I was leaving for maternity leave, "Happy Baby!"

Pregnancy, Babies, and Gear, OH MY! Part 1: Preparation and Delivery Tips

So, it has been a year since Dominic was born. I found out a few months ago that one of my favorite people, my cousin Becca, is expecting a baby. I told her I would send her a list of some of my favorite gear... and about 5000 words later (I haven't actually counted) I had a monster list of gear reviews, labor and delivery suggestions, and nursing tips. So I figured more people might be interested in my thoughts (I'm so vain), and decided to post it here for my 4 readers (some of whom already have their own baby manifestos).

Before Delivering the Baby--Preparation for the Hospital:

• Make a Birth Plan!!! I recommend the book Easy Labor for a run-down of all the pain management options and how they work. I felt prepared for anything that was thrown at me during my delivery because I knew the affects of different options. Great book. You'll love it when you're getting close to the due date!
• Get a Doula: If it is not totally out of the budget, hire a doula (heck, even if it is out of the budget). Get pregnancy massages from her, go to her birthing class, listen to what she has to say, and have her there the whole time you are at the hospital for delivery. Labor & Delivery nurses at the hospital are in charge of several women in labor at a time, and they will not be by your side while you are in labor. They mainly come by to stick their gloved fingers where no gloved finger should ever go, adjust your drugs (if you want them), and take your vitals regularly. They have a very important job, especially during delivery, but it is difficult for them to do that job and offer full-time support to the 5 laboring mothers in their care. Husbands are great for support, too, but a doula has assisted in tons of births, whereas your husband (probably) has only seen national geographic. The doula is super helpful when your teary eyed husband is worn out from seeing his wife in a ton of pain, and she can even help with crowd control if you expect a lot of people to show up at your door while you're having contractions. A doula can be somewhat expensive (in Housotn, anyway), but it is 100% worth it to have an expert who knows you personally and is also slightly removed from you in the delivery room to keep you and your husband calm. Mine even took some awesome and graphic photos of the birth... not too graphic, but it's like you're a fly on the wall!

• Visitor Warnings: Let people know in advance if they will be able to visit you during labor and delivery. You may want to let people know that you'll call them after the baby is born, so they will not be disappointed if they miss out on an "on the way to the hospital" call. We let everyone know we were at the hospital (Christmas Eve - Christmas Day), and told them we'd call when Dominic was born, and it was perfect. Nobody twiddling thumbs in the hospital waiting room, or worse, knocking on the door to see how things are going. You never know who will expect that they can be present for your glamorous birthing event.

• Freeze some meals. Spaghetti sauce (or any sauce, really) freezes well, and it will be simple to heat up for dinner when you get home with your baby and you are hungry and tired. Soups, stews, chilis, and casseroles also freeze nicely.

• Screw packing a hospital bag the size of your honeymoon luggage! They tell you to bring too much stuff that you don't need on the lists from the hospital. All I used from my hospital bag were: toiletries, one nightgown/sleepwear (hospital gowns could fit 5 of me comfortably in them, and they suck for jammies, but make a great robe when worn backwards), a pair of socks or slippers, and my electronics (laptop, camera, phone, ipod, chargers... packed moments before leaving for the hospital). You'll also want your own pillow, but I think that goes without saying, and usually does not fit in a bag. The hospital has all the blankets, baby stuff, medical stuff you could possibly need (even disposable underwear, and trust me, you don't want to deal with your own underwear right after giving birth), and it is silly to bring half of your apartment with you to sit in the corner of a tiny hospital room for a couple days. I even wore the same clothes home that I had worn into the hospital when I went into labor, since my water broke at the hospital when I was already in a hospital gown... easy. Oh, and the baby carseat... you can't leave the hospital without it... and you will want to get out of that room!

Caution: This next one is not for the faint of heart... Explicit birthing content follows:

• Be aware that the muscles you use to poop are the same muscles you use to push out a baby. So you are essentially going to have a 6-10lb poop of a baby when you go to the hospital (your baby is not poop, your baby is precious, but during hard labor you want to push like you are pooping so it will be over faster). Pushing will take much less time if you just push as though you were having a monster BM... watch your husband while he poops, that will give you an idea of how it works. I only pushed for 15 minutes, because I knew about this and I was finished being in labor and hungry. Emergency C-sections happen when mothers get too worn out to push any more because they were not pushing the right way for an hour or more, depending on the doctor. Less pushing = less pain.

That's me and Dominic. Isn't that a cute pic? Courtesy of the nurse or doula who grabbed my camera during the delivery.